Too Fast

Today, at work, we were booted off the server for a short period of time while the Bosses sorted out a few things. Essentially, this rendered me pretty useless as my work depends on the use of computers.

So here I was, twiddling my thumbs, spinning in my chair and generally feeling like a small, bored child, when it hit me.

Gosh the past two weeks have gone so fast.

I checked the clock then, and after a sharp double-take, I realised that the day was almost over. Where had the time gone? I could have sworn I’d only rolled out of bed an hour ago…

This is when I really got to thinking.

Are you ready?

The second I took to check that clock, the minutes that are ticking by even as I type this, are completely and utterly, irreplaceable. They’re gone. Forever. Sucked up into the abyss that is the intangible vacuum of time and space. I will never get that time back. Ever.

And now I’m a day older. A day closer to nineteen. A day closer to thirty! And, to put a more serious note on things, I’m a day closer to death. This day, too, is gone forever.

It actually scares me a fair bit, to think that so many seconds, minutes, days of my life are just being wasted twiddling my thumbs and sitting around doing nothing. To make matters worse, life only goes faster as you get older. When you think about it, a year in the life of a two year old is 50% of his entire life. A year in a two year old’s eyes would be a very long time indeed. On the other hand, a year in the eyes of a fifty year old is only 2% of their life. Therefore, a year seems to pass more quickly as you get older, because in the great scheme of things, it’s becoming a shorter and shorter period of time compared to the length of time you’ve already lived.

So I asked myself today, why am I wasting all this time? What have I done in the past few weeks that has made a significant impact on me as a person, on my life? Why am I wishing the day away just so I can get out of work at 5 o’clock? Why did I wish away my life only to be eighteen?

The answer is simply because this is what we are taught to do. This is how we are taught to be. As children, we go to school. We are taught that in life we will always have to do things we don’t want to. We are taught that we must get an education, we must get a job, we must earn money in a conventional, legal, societally-approved way. We must do this, we must do that, we mustn’t do this. Enslaved by these ways of thinking, people forget what the sole purpose of life is.

To be happy.

We are constantly wishing every day away, anticipating the weekend, or a short break in time where we can just do the things we love. Caught up in work, study, diet plans, exercise plans, house work, yard work, bills, maintenance etc… we forget to make every second count.

I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder where it’s gone and what I’ve achieved. I want to look back and think…

...thank fuck I’m an old bastard now because shit my life was exhausting.